We’ve got to learn to listen.

Once upon a time, the world was perfect.

And then it wasn’t.

There were some issues with forbidden fruit, a crafty serpent, disobedient humans, etc.

The point is, somewhere along the line, things went from really, really good to really, really bad and in that moment, life got harder, in a lot of different ways.

For starters, humans lost our ability to communicate perfectly (if, indeed, that gift ever truly belonged to us in the first place.) Where once there was harmony, now there was discord. Where once we all got along and were gentle and kind to each other, now there’s miscommunication and some real harmful insults and hurt feelings.

(The adage “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never harm me” is a load of garbage, eh?)

We lost the intrinsic ability to communicate well (sometimes, that may look like not communicating at all! I can’t help but wonder how the Cain and Abel story would’ve turned out had Cain been able to vocalize his feelings…but I digress.)

As a result, we lost the ability to listen to each other well.

I guess it kind of makes sense; if communication is messy because people are messy, then there’s always a chance I won’t be understood or I’ll say something that hurts someone else. Therefore, maybe it’s better if I just surround myself with people who think, look, and act like me and avoid having to listen to anyone outside my comfort-zone. Comfort zone = security in self and relationships. Stepping outside that box could result in pain or discomfort and who wants to deal with that? Ugh.

I’m being glib, I know, but the truth is that I am ashamed to say one of the places where I’m seeing the most hurt and the least willingness to pause and listen is within the Church. Specifically, the American Church. And I used to think this was a denomination-specific problem, but the more I’ve learned about other denominations and engaged with them, the more I’ve realized that maybe American Christians just aren’t naturally great at listening to our neighbors.

Again: It kind of makes sense.

We want what we know. No one likes being uncomfortable.

But if your comfort zone has become an echo chamber, you’ve got a problem.

Not only can we be vile to each other in the things we say to (or behind) people’s faces (a topic for another time), but we can also be nasty in our refusal to even remotely entertain ideas or people that are radically different from us. And this is really bad news, gang.

The Bible celebrates diversity. Diversity of races, gender, and yes, theological interpretations. The Bible is a diverse book. Which is part of what makes it so compelling and alive: there is no one view or group or voice.

So how have our Churches/denominations become so…cliqueish?

I posit that it’s because we’ve forgotten the sacred art of listening. And just like how good communication takes practice and effort, so does good listening.

The heart of the Christian faith, if I had to boil it down, would be that we are called to Love God, and Love our Neighbor. And part of doing this task well requires me to be uncomfortable and awkward and have honest, tough conversations with people I may have nothing in common with.

Why? Because those people are my neighbors. And they’re loved by God. And, as crazy as it may seem, they may actually have some wisdom and something to teach me.

Dissent is not a good enough reason to isolate ourselves from our neighbors. It is not a good excuse for living in a hivemind groupthink. And if I genuinely believe that Jesus died for all people like He says He did, and that He considers my enemies to be my neighbors (Lk 10:29-37), then I have a moral responsibility to at least try to hear people out. Not to argue them down, mind. I’m not saying we listen with the express intent of correcting or to merely reply to them with our own opinions! I mean, we need to be listening to really, genuinely hear each other.

Why? Because it’s hard to hate people up close.

And listening to hear is listening to understand.

Funnily enough, God knows this. Which is why we’re told in Philippians, “Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” (2:4, NASB)

Most often, we read this and think this verse is telling us simply not be selfish and to put others first, and OK sure yes true. But IF this is true, then there are things we need to take into consideration.

For instance, there are no clear bounds on whose interests I’m supposed to look out for. It doesn’t say just my Church. It doesn’t say, look out just for my family, my friends, my comfort-zone. It says to look out for “the interests of others.”

Bible scholar and excellent commentary writer Matthew Henry says this on the matter:

“We must interest ourselves in the concerns of others, not in a way of curiosity and censoriousness, or as busy-bodies in other men's matters, but in Christian love and sympathy: Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. A selfish spirit is destructive of Christian love. We must be concerned not only for our own credit, and ease, and safety, but for those of others also; and rejoice in the prosperity of others as truly as in our own. We must love our neighbour as ourselves, and make his case our own.”

Jesus famously once asked (in a roundabout way) who our neighbors are.

And what Henry reminds us here is that EVERYONE is our neighbor. (And if you really want to have your mind blown, look at Philippians 2:3: “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility regard others as better than yourselves.” (NRSV) )

Regard others as better than yourselves = consider other people to be important. Ergo, worth listening to.

If we really want to see the world change, or if we really want to live the Kingdom of Heaven in the here and now, we’ve got to start listening, man. We’ve got to start trying to learn from each other. We’ve got to stop allowing ourselves to be manipulated into polarizations, or opposite sides. Because yeah, I may be comfortable in my comfort-zone.

But I’m sure as heck not going to grow there.