Conviction.

Conviction is a funny thing.

Raised and educated by good Southern Baptists, I now find myself in the tenuous position of being a staff member in a United Methodist Church, a church that is currently cleaving itself from the inside out.

The Baptists, in my upbringing and experience, never experienced such a division. There was always shared conviction because we all believed the same things, more or less. There really was no room for dissention or disagreement at least theologically speaking.

But now here I am in a church with deep roots all over the world, and it's suddenly disintegrating and evolving, and there are two camps of conviction instead of one sure-thing. And each side thinks they're right; neither is willing to budge or compromise.

Yeah, conviction is funny.

It often manifests like a closed-fist rather than an open hand. And we praise people for staying true to their beliefs, sticking to their guns. It's a virtue not to be easily swayed. But I can't help but wonder what Jesus thinks of our immutability, and our unwillingness to look through another's eyes.

I wonder if He'd spend time listening to both sides, or if He'd point out His version of conviction.

I know I distressed you greatly with my letter. Although I felt awful at the time, I don’t feel at all bad now that I see how it turned out. The letter upset you, but only for a while. Now I’m glad—not that you were upset, but that you were jarred into turning things around. You let the distress bring you to God, not drive you from him. The result was all gain, no loss. Distress that drives us to God does that. It turns us around. It gets us back in the way of salvation. We never regret that kind of pain. But those who let distress drive them away from God are full of regrets, end up on a deathbed of regrets. (2 Cor. 7:8-10, MSG)

Christ's conviction is not one that stakes itself into the ground, flying a banner and demanding conformity. It isn't a conviction that grasps tightly and refuses to let go. This is not a conviction that cries for right-thought, right-answers, right-belief.

Christ's conviction is the art of turning towards God, again and again and again.

It is a pain that produces hope and renewal and freedom from regret or distress.

Conviction for the Christian is all gain and no loss, because it is the returning to the bosom and heart of the Father, listening for whatever God has to say. Waiting for God to move. Walking forward into the love of Christ, always.