Understanding Boundaries May Prevent You from Walking In on Someone Using the Bathroom.
- meashley1124
- Feb 9, 2021
- 3 min read
When I was in college, I walked in on an old, Asian grandma peeing in an all-you-can-eat sushi restaurant. In my defense, the bathroom door wasn't locked. In her defense, I didn't knock first because in College-Beth's mind, "If I turn the knob and it opens -- the coast is clear! If it's locked, it's occupied." Well, actually College-Beth, sometimes people forget to lock doors, and before you know it, you've barged into the room and are standing there like a deer in headlights while an Asian woman with her grannie panties around her ankles screams at you while pointing frantically towards the door.
Here's what I'm getting at: B O U N D A R I E S.
Boundaries, people!
Boundaries are so important, particularly for us now as we live in a culture that LOVES blurred lines. We are a people who crave and demand to know ALL of the details, right? We want to know EVERYTHING about EVERYONE and as a result, we feel the need to share EVERYTHING.
Vlogs, blogs (ahem), Instagram, Facebook, Parler, Twitter, TikTok -- we indulge ourselves in sharing any and everything about us because we can. We don't keep anything to ourselves anymore, and as a result, people think they're entitled to know everything about us. We've created this information monster that demands to know everything, share everything, and give our opinions on EVERYTHING.
We indulge our information-monster, and in the process, we begin to forget that opinions aren't truth. You see, when we are constantly sharing and taking in information, we begin to believe that our feelings and emotions, and the feelings/emotions of others, are suddenly The Truth. This false belief is leading to mass anxiety, burnout, exhaustion, and unhealthy comparisons for so many of us.
I think it's good to have shut doors, sometimes. Not everything about us needs to be revealed or shared or open for public discussion. Boundaries protect us from hurting ourselves and others, and are beneficial for maintaining our mental health.
I don't have to feed my information-monster in order to feel validated; I don't have to overshare or listen to others overshare because I know that establishing boundaries protects my mental-inner-garden.
Privacy is important, people. Everyone has their own inner-garden to tend to, and cultivate; you'll have a hard time protecting it if you're constantly consuming content, and sharing every little thing about your life. When you open yourself up to receive others' opinions, you are inviting their emotions into your garden -- the positive and the negative, both. And when we internalize others' opinions and allow it to influence us, that's when we begin to buy into the idea that their opinions are The Truth, and we therefore must operate accordingly.
You are your own gardener -- why are you allowing others to pull up and plant that which doesn't serve you?
Here are some links to articles that talk about how to establish healthy boundaries! If you're struggling with this like I so often do, I hope this helps! :)
Please remember that this post is preaching to me as much as it is to you! I fail EVERY DAY when it comes to setting and maintaining clear boundaries; but I'm working on it! From social media fasts to being clear with family about what's OK to comment on vs. what's not, I'm doing the hard work of protecting my own garden. I hope you'll do so, too.
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