Thoughts on Femininity by Halle LeSueur

Hey y'all! Longtime no see. I've been MIA because, life, but I'm super excited to start the new year off with a post from guest-writer, Halle LeSueur! Halle and I were able to sit down via Zoom a few months ago and talk life, womanhood, and faith. Her perspective into what it means to be a woman and to be feminine is something I'm excited to share with all of you! Follow her on Instagram to get to know her better <3. https://www.instagram.com/darebloved/

I have always loved the idea of a traditional woman. My favorite time period is early America when women were homemakers, caretakers, and mothers first! Now, don’t get me wrong, the secretive and sometimes unmasked abusive men of the past are not in my “dream society.” In no way do I approve of men manipulating or belittling women. I simply like the idea of men taking care of their home financially, and women using their amazing God-given superpowers to bring up children and support their families. This is a beautiful team.

I feel today’s children lack the parental attention they really need. Unfortunately, because of where we are economically, most households need two incomes. Therefore, I know my dream world isn’t something necessarily possible for most American families today.

Fortunately, some ideas of the past can still stand despite today’s social predicament. Femininity is one way to bring past values, morals, and traditions to today’s family dynamics. To me, traditional women showcased their femininity through basking in their feminine qualities and characteristics. But this is one topic very hard for me to write about because of numerous different ideas of femininity that exist in today’s society. (I should also mention that femininity looks different on every woman and guess what -- THAT OK!)

Femininity is described by the Webster Dictionary as, “The quality or nature of the female sex: the quality, state, or degree of being feminine or womanly.” I want to point out that nowhere in that description does it describe being feminine as being weak or less-than. However, for some reason, some women hear the term “femininity'' and think of weak women.

My view of a feminine woman is one who holds her own morals, is smart, pleasant, and above all strong. She is a woman who takes pride in her role of motherhood, and she takes care of her children and her family in whatever way she feels she needs to. Feminine women are women who take pride in being an individual, mother, or wife. A feminine woman for me is a woman who doesn’t find her power from how loud she is. Instead, her power is expressed through how humbly she behaves, how observant she is, and how gentle she is as she waits for her well-thought-out response to be shared.

Women are so smart and intuitive with everything around them, and this is why they have such a superpower that men are incapable of possessing. Men have their own gifts, but they are in no way better than a woman’s gifts!

Femininity is explained by Dr. Debra Soh’s book, The End Of Gender; “[When a woman is] being driven by whatever the culture describes as feminine.” This idea is so true to me because as women we are the world’s biggest consumers. In a way, that’s power in itself in my opinion but unfortunately, right now we are using it all wrong. We could honestly dictate how we want to be seen, treated, and acknowledged by men if we stop consuming the ideas of the masses. For example, (pray I don’t get canceled) we don’t have to look the same (small waist, big breast, and big behinds ). All I can say is God makes no mistakes when it comes to how we look. It is ok to look different than everyone else. I think that is what makes everyone attractive in their own way.

Another way to separate from the masses in order to tap into our own individual feminine SUPERPOWER is to believe in whatever you believe wholeheartedly, and be respectful of others and their beliefs. Today’s values and morals are complex and confusing. It is so hard for people to believe in what they believe without fearing the consequences of being “canceled” , publicly humiliated, or separated from the rest of society. If you are a woman and you have your own ideas of what femininity looks like to you then be it wholeheartedly. Take time out to strip yourself of worldly ideas and come up with your own that speak to you. God calls us to be in the world, not of it.

God is all-knowing so He knew how to create a woman in order to work together with men. Now hear me out: this is not to say that a woman’s purpose is to be with a man romantically. Our feminine superpowers can be used even in the workplace in order to work beside men successfully and respectfully.

The idea of a woman is different when we look at God’s idea of womanhood compared to the world’s idea. In Galatians 3:28, God reminds us that we are all one in his eyes. In Genesis 2:18 we find that God desires for man to have a helpmeet, which is a woman. Why do we think God asks wives to submit to their husbands in Ephesians 5:22-33? How can God say we are equal in His eyes but then tell us to learn quietness and full submission to man (1 Timothy 2:9-15)? For me, since I am a believer, even in these statements I trust God. After being married to my husband for almost two years I can already see why God said this. When my husband and I were preparing for marriage we read a lot of journals, books, and devotions about marriage. Most everything we read talked about the importance of a man loving his wife and a woman respecting her husband.

As a woman, I think it’s given that we want a man that respects us. Isn’t it interesting that when God sends us a man that really loves us, that man tends to give us the world? On the flip side, there are studies showing that men would rather have respect than love. Respect to them means that the person cares and loves them. God is so amazing -- He wrote the most beautiful love story for us so that we can use it as a guide on how to best love and serve one another!

I trust the order God created because it is perfect. When I think about how perfect God’s will truly is, I instantly get goosebumps.

Femininity is me representing my womanhood boldly and loving who I am and all that I am with no apologies.

I am emotional, caring, loving, kind, a peacemaker, a waymaker, beautiful, forgiving, and the list goes on. When God made me, He made me perfect and He never makes mistakes. I hope you can rest in this truth, today, too!