God is not a helicopter parent.

To be clear, I am not yet a parent.

I have, however, had a lot of experience interacting with parents both as a former teacher as a current youth-pastor. And because of this, I can assure you of two things: 1) helicopter parents are still very real and 2) they are not the kind of parents I aspire to be one day.

Helicopter parents hover over their kids, making sure that their problems are limited or that they are spared any kind of negative feelings or experiences. In this way, they're really more like lawn-mower parents, mowing down any potential obstacles in their kid's life so that little Princeton or Saraleigh can get into Harvard or make the team or avoid getting called out for bullying their peers. Helicopter parents prevent kids from becoming truly independent and also tend to create really good liars (because teenagers who constantly have their parents hovering over their backs don't not behave like typical teens; they just get really good at covering their tracks and then lying about it afterwards).

For most of us here in the South, we've grown up with this idea of God acting as some kind of helicopter parent. We may not ever vocalize it, but we have this secret tickling in the backs of our consciousness that God is hovering over us, making sure we're following the Bible and checking off our Good Christian™ to-do list. As a result, we tend to believe that God will reward us by making life easier or more comfortable or more safe. God will bless us if we do what God tells us to do. It may sound silly now, but for a vast majority of us, we've spent our entire faith journeys believing some version of this narrative.

Here's the thing, though: God is a good parent. This means that rather than sparing us from hardship, God gives us the tools and skills and knowledge to endure trials. Scholar and Theologian Peter Enns says, "Wise parents know that their job is to equip their children to be independent, to acquire skill sets for navigating on their own the ups and downs of life, to experience failure and triumph, pain and joy, and everything in between, and handle it all well -- in other words, to be in training to become mature, well-functioning adults." God is not trying to make us into flawless, perfect, painless princesses and princes; God is trying to make us decent human beings. You know what helps make someone decent? Experiencing loss, grief, hardship, trial, and pain and coming out on the other side of it as a more mature, compassionate and loving person.

God is not vicariously living through you or me like an anxious parent.

God is not nervous or fretful, worried that we won't stick to a particular script.

God is not depending on us to help make everything work out.

God is present in our pain -- not sparing us from it, but walking with us in the midst of it.

God is in love with who we are -- not expecting us to become the most polished, perfected, performative versions of ourselves.

God is an artist -- molding us and giving us the tools we need to become decent, loving, grace-filled people.

The Bible is not safety net to-do list, a book I read to guarantee God's love. It is a book of Wisdom, a vessel for God's heart, and when I study it not to ensure God's approval, but to actually just know God, I am freed from my belief that God is floating above me disapprovingly.

But for us,

There is one God, the Father, by whom all things were created, and for whom we live. And there is one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom all things were created, and through whom we live.

-1 Cor. 8:6 (NLT)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K069mzFQnxc