Anything is Progress.

Have you heard "Oxygen" by Steffany Gretzinger?

The lyrics have hit me in a very meaningful way, and I feel as if the Holy Spirit is using this song to speak directly to me right now in this season. Let me share the lyrics with you:

You are my oxygen / You’re making me wanna live again / You are my oxygen / You’re making me wanna live again / Sometimes my very best / Is only my weakest yes / You see strength in every movement / Baby steps and short breaths / Anything is progress / You sustain my every moment / My lifeblood, my true love / My reason, my because / My hope when I’m hopeless You never run out, You’re the source of it / The moon in my night sky / My vision when I’m blind When I quit, You still fight / You fight for me.

I know I've talked a lot about the New Year already, but this song has been on repeat for weeks now, slowly but surely becoming my anthem for the year.

So often, I find myself caught up in the rush of things. I prioritize my work, my husband, my family, my fears, my anxieties, all over my King. But then last month, it felt like I was slowly waking up, like my soul was coming in tune with the Spirit, like I was becoming cognizant after the numbness of slumber.

"You're making me wanna live again, Jesus"

"You take my weak yeses"

"You call me strong"

"Baby steps and short breaths, anything is progress"

"My reason, my because, You never run out and You fight for me."

Yes, Lord, I believe all this to be true.

I go through periods where it feels as if God is silent, and I am waiting. Authors Sarah Bessey and Rachel Held Evans called this period "the wilderness" and I have wandered in it for years.

Now, I am back in His presence everyday, sitting at His feet, even though I still have questions and doubts and worries. I didn't have to clean myself up to get back to this spot -- I just had to acknowledge that my perfection isn't necessary, and that I am not here to impress anyone -- especially Him. I am a broken, flawed thing and progress is slow-going for me right now.

But oh Jesus, how You take these jagged edges and hug them to Your heart anyway.

You fight for me, indeed. You are my advocate when I can not even advocate for myself. You can handle me in all of my ways.

What is your oxygen, friends? What is sustaining you right now? What is making you want to live?